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One Month - Samuel Asa

Samuel is one month old now! What an occasion! Okay, we haven't really done anything to celebrate except go to Church. In commemoration, we want to share some photos of our Samuel Asa. (I got a hold of Katie's really nice camera and couldn't resist taking another few shots.)

One month ago today - 8 lbs. 11 oz. - What a chunk!

How his little feet have grown

Still a (c)hunk!

Zoe's favorite baby. He tastes good apparently - Zoe really likes to lick him.

Caught in the act!

Michelle looks so great!

Samuel Asa - just enjoying a nap on mom

In other news, we found out our dog is as tall as she'll be. I hope she doesn't fill out too much more; we like her the way she is.

Zoe has great taste buds apparently - she really likes her foot too.

Our new life as a trio

I've been putting off posting for various reasons, not the least of which is utter exhaustion, but I also feel like the change in my life that occurred two and a half weeks ago is altogether too big and grand and complex for me to put into words.  It is at the same time nearly impossible for me to wrap my head around and completely natural and familiar.  Being a mother is nothing more than irresistibly devoting yourself completely to another being who relies wholly upon you. For me there was no choice involved because my heart, mind and especially instinct have automatically given everything I have to this tiny new person in my life.  

Samuel is growing so fast.  He is a strong boy and loves to hold his head up and look around at everything.  I get the sense that he is frustrated by his limited body and wants to do much more than he is is physically capable of right now.  He is pretty adorable and I laugh every day at the funny faces he makes.  He's not shy about letting us know when he is unhappy about something, but he is also quite the charmer when he's happy.  

Well, a week and half later I am finally getting back to this post.  Finding time to do the simplest things is a real challenge with a newborn!  But here I am at my computer with a few precious quiet minutes on my hands so I'll hopefully get this posted today.  Samuel has been waking up to eat about every four hours at night for the past few days and most of the time goes right back to sleep.  The increased sleep has been great although I'm looking forward to the first time I can string eight consecutive hours of sleep together.  Samuel will be one month old on Sunday.  I can't believe how fast the time is passing and how much bigger he seems to me.  His physical features have changed a lot since we brought home that little swollen face from the hospital.  I was telling Spencer last night that I wonder what he'll look like as he keeps getting older.  I feel like I am still waiting to know what he will look like, but on the other hand I feel like I've always known what he looks like because he is so familiar to me.

It has been so fun to watch Spencer step into his role of father.  I love watching his face as he looks at his little boy and listening to him sing songs to Samuel as he holds him.  I feel like my heart understands love a little more deeply, and not only my love for Samuel is new, I feel a new and deeper love for my husband and best friend as well.  These two boys have captured my heart forever.

Bring Him Home

Well, it's been an eventful week to say the least. We had fun celebrating Christmas with both the Hutchings and Croslands. I am still overwhelmed with the kindness and graciousness of those I am surrounded by. We received so many great presents. By far, the best Christmas ever.

Wednesday, we went to Les Miserables. We watched the stage version in August at the Shakespearean Festival in Cedar City and it was awesome. I love the story of mercy, change, and faith in men. Watching it on the big screen brought another aspect to the story. For me, the locations where the movie was filmed brought some new thoughts and realizations of humanity from the story. I found it beautiful.

Thursday was the big day. Michelle and I visited the OBGYN for her 39 week appointment. Her blood pressure was elevated so they sent us to the hospital. She was induced at about 11:00 a.m. Her body responded well, although her contractions never were consistent, and she started pushing at about 7:30 p.m. The contractions weakened for a while, then about 9:30, she started her final push. Samuel Asa arrived about an hour-and-a-half later. Greatest gift ever! I'm absolutely overwhelmed!

We were able to check out yesterday from the hospital, healthy and strong. Last night was an adventure for us though. First night caring for a child and there wasn't much sleep to go around. I feel completely out of place as a father, but I absolutely love this opportunity to learn and grow. I can honestly say that I feel so much more complete now! It is an absolutely amazing feeling!

Just to add to the awesomeness of the week, we were able to close on our first home while staying in the hospital on Friday. We are super excited about that development as well. It allows for another opportunity to learn, grow, and deepen our roots.

Overall, quite possibly the greatest week of my young life. I am absolutely blessed by those around me! My wife is amazing and she was able to handle the pregnancy and delivery so well! I'm not surprised; she's absolutely great!

Zoe says, "What is this?"

A good looking kid

Standing on the Shoulders of Giants

One of the most memorable talks I've heard in a sacrament meeting was given by a high school friend in our singles ward. He talked about some experiences on his mission and a saying engraved on a coin in the country he served in. The saying went something like "You can see farther when standing on the shoulders of giants." That's not verbatim so don't quote me. It's a thought that I've pondered many times since then. After a chat with my older brother Nate today, I reflected on the idea that I am in my situation because of so many who have gone before me in this life. I truly stand on the shoulders of giants. The list is long, but I want to recognize a few of them.

My Ancestors - I stand on the shoulders of the giants who are my ancestors. Truly I would not be where I am today without them. The decisions that they made throughout their lives have influenced me in ways that I can not comprehend in this life. I am so grateful to those ancestors of mine who first embraced the gospel and made decisions to live it throughout their lives. I am so grateful for my ancestors who came after the initial baptisms and stayed true to the faith. I stand on their shoulders. I am grateful for where they all decided to live for I feel that each of those locations played a part in who I am.

My Parents - I stand on the giant shoulders of my parents. They have loved me so much and made so many wonderful and great decisions that I have been blessed by, I could never thank them enough. I am so grateful for their great examples. I am grateful for all that they taught me. I am grateful for the vision that they had for me and my siblings in raising us. I am grateful that they are active members of the Church. I stand on their shoulders and reach ever higher.

My Siblings - Even though we might be considered competitive, I rejoice in the success of my siblings. They continually teach me new things and push me to strive for my full potential. They care about me and have always supported me. They laid a lot of groundwork in who I have become. I have learned so much from each of them that I am honored to be a brother to each of them and their spouses. They are giants in my eyes who I try to emulate and reach the next heights with.

My Wife - I can not truly state the love and appreciation that I have for my dear wife. I stand on her shoulders everyday as she continually makes life better and better. I can not praise her enough for all that she has done for me. This past year of marriage (in nine days) has been the greatest year of my life hands down. I have grown so much because of what Michelle has taught me. Her love, kindness, thoughtfulness, selflessness, and desire to be a righteous wife and mother are truly inspiring. I would not be the man I am today without her. That speaks back to our days in elementary school. She pushed me all the time. I stand on her shoulders and look forward to the years ahead where her shoulders push me ever higher as she continues to grow as well. I'll be able to ride to the greatest heights on her shoulders.

In the end, I have left out specific mention of so many. It's too hard to list out everyone, but I recognize and realize that I stand a little bit on everyone's shoulders. That's the way it is supposed to be. I am so excited to become a dad and help my children to rise to greater heights than I could ever dream for myself in this life. It's all a great big cycle and I am so grateful to be a part of it.

This Trip

It seems that ever since I asked Michelle to marry me, the thoughts of time, eternity, and space have all been dancing around in my head, clamoring for attention. As I've pondered upon them, new thoughts and ideas have come to me. The idea that's been floating in my head most recently is about time and the use of time and what seems to be an innate desire among humans to have time go fast.

I pose the question to everyone, why do we all want time to go fast? I understand that sometimes, we have desires to reach a certain point. I totally get that. Michelle and I are anticipating the arrival of our first-born. We are super excited and in some ways we desire time to move quickly so that we get to meet our little guy. It scares me to think that by focusing only on the arrival of the child and anticipating it, we are going to miss so much! The importance of time is enjoying it.

I look back at my time as a single adult. I was so focused on what life would be like married that I missed opportunities to improve myself in other ways. At times I sat around, just letting precious time go by, waiting and wanting time to go by so much more quickly so I could start on the next phase of my life. I missed opportunities to enjoy life.

I can point to so many times in my life where this same attitude has possibly caused me to miss the fullness of life. Joy comes through the fullness of life. Fullness of life comes through living every moment to its fullest. Don't let the desire for time to go quickly overcome a desire to live life to the fullest. I guess that's my goal. Here's to the joy to come!

While on the topic of time, here's an awesome slide show of some of the Hubble Telescope's best pictures.

2 is better than 1

I am always grateful for gospel discussions that cause introspection and a deeper self evaluation.  i don't always love what I discover, but it's good to be able to identify some of the cobwebs, holes, and weak areas that I can hone in on and set in order.  I'm grateful for Spencer, who with kindness and love, brings better perspective to my life.

I'm learning to appreciate our different approaches to doing things and our differing points of view.  As frustrating as it can be sometimes, it helps me pause and consider things I may not have looked at before or may not have seen in that way.  I'm learning how to be more open and because of that, discovering the benefits and joy of being part of an eternal team.

There have been a lot of big decisions in our life lately and therefore many opportunities to discuss differing opinions.  Many of these decisions have to do with bringing a new member of our family into the world.  I'm sure all who have ever done this know exactly what I'm talking about.  My ideas about how to do things are sometimes different from Spencer's ideas (crazy right?), but that has given me reason and opportunity to think, do research, and become more informed about decisions as big as birth plans to decisions as small as where our tiny son will sleep.  For those who are wondering, I am planning to have my baby at the hospital with a doctor and an epidural.  For this baby, at this time, that is what Spencer and I have decided, although the research we did into midwives and natural births was enlightening and broadened my perspective.

We've also had the opportunity to disagree on decisions about the house we are in the process of purchasing.  But again, it gives reason to think more deeply about the decisions we are making.  We are both so excited to be buying a house.  My excitement translates into hours of pinterest perusing and filling online carts and wish lists with ideas to make the new house feel like our home.  However, this makes Spencer start to see stars and dollar signs that make his head spin and his palms get itchy with anxiety.  But he helps me reign in my vision and consider more carefully what things we really need and how to best spend our money.  Sometimes I think it might be fun to go really crazy with my home improvement ideas so that when I present my real ideas, he'll feel relieved instead of overwhelmed.  But I wouldn't want to give him a heart attack!  

Well, the future is exciting, mysterious, and bright.  We are so grateful for our family and friends who care so much about us.  You are what make our lives full.